If I Only Knew

I had no idea I had a chance
Perhaps a chance so small
Not even a sewing needle could pass through
So tiny it cannot be seen by the naked eye

I wish I could go back
Tug against the threads of time
So they would loosen, unwind, and be free
Creating a space where we could
Be just you and me

Where I could love unequivocally
Where I could express all that I am to you
Where there are no barriers
And love just flows
And is free to dance

If I only knew
If I only knew I could have had a chance with you
I would have never let go
If you only knew
If you only knew how much you mean to me


A New Bud

Raw, like a new bud in Spring
I open myself up to a new day
Without apologies
A hand slips into my heart
Breathless, I run

Taken, my walls come down
I want to share all that I am
From deep within
And all around
Fearless, I undress

Naked, I am
Scared, I am
Hopeful, I am

To blossom in front of you
To be loved for who I am
To be seen
To be seen as who I am
In all my glory


Canvass of Truth

Covering the surface of blank pages
With invisible dabs of ink
Hoping to unveil a hidden picture
That lies somewhere beneath

Scratching at the surface
Not too hard, but on purpose
To find just a gaping hole
Filled with a pocket of air

Nothingness has no ends
Grows without fuel
And spreads with all its might
Like water without restraint

I thought I was rising, but
The ground fell from below
And now I’m terrified because I’m
Standing in the middle of the unknown

Is this the uncoiling of a sordid tail?
Or the unhinging of a closed door?
I’m supposedly not asking the right questions
Because I keep on getting more-of the same

It’s time to let go of uncertainties
Wrap myself up in my faith
Tie ignorance up in a box
And throw it away

Have the courage to look at the devil
Directly in his greedy, little face
‘Cause he’s not taking my doubts
And baking them into cakes

Even glass though fragile
Defends itself when broke
Maybe I can be certain
While I’m waiting to be whole



The quiet storm rises
Without permission
Turns echoes from the past
Into a fury of formation
Unfettered, juices run
Squeezing out the hum drum
A cacophony of lights
Leave everything anew


The Time Has Come

The time has come to move on

The time has come to set my sails up high
The time came and went
I left my heart on his chest

The time has come to keep my head up
The time has come to learn my lesson
The time has come to make amends
With my angels & demons

I heard Marvin K. Mooney doesn't want to leave
But when it's the right time, a time to sleep
You gotta go
You gotta go
Lie in the bed you made

The time has come to face the day
The time has come to be courageous
The time has come to have faith
In what lies ahead



It wasn't that I didn't see it coming
It wasn't that I didn't know the truth
But I wanted to believe we had a future
I wanted to believe I could grow old with you

It wasn't that I didn't see the problems
It wasn't that I didn't know it'd be tough
But I wanted to believe we could work it out
I wanted to believe in the power of love

It wasn't that I didn't want to be that woman
It wasn't that you didn't want to be that man
But when two people can't come together
There's a higher power working, an upper hand

I surrender my will to God
I pray for peace in our hearts
Sometimes, love is about letting go
And the end is just a new beginning


The Match

Glaring eyes from end to end
Thoughts of defeating you
Even though you are my friend
In my stance a bounce
But yours a steadiness
I’m in my corner waiting

I move swiftly on my feet
But you move purposefully
Floating like a butterfly
But swinging like a chimpanzee
I’m determined to see if I can win
Determined to be right in this argument

Take me out this round you will
The next I’ll beat you to the core
How should love be measured?
Now that I’m gasping on the floor
In this never ending battle
Of low lying humility

We take a time out
I center myself completely
You take on a new doubt
I suppress my anxiety
So that we both can meet again
And raise another fist

Glaring eyes from end to end
Of a fearless enemy who was my friend
I’m ready now to take on my glory
Of this twisted two page Rocky Balboa story
Starring two hopeless lovers, holding their better selves back,
in a boxing ring